Ever seen something through a window or in a photo or on video and it looks like one thing but it’s actually something entirely different?
Had you peeked through the window in the door at the counseling center, you’d have seen me sobbing, blowing my nose, wiping tears, reading, repeating the previous steps. And you’ve have thought “oh my God, how sad!” or something akin to that. On the 1 hand it was and is sad but on the other, it’s actually pretty awesome, grieving it, letting it go, freeing up space in my heart, body and soul for love, joy and happiness.
I read all 7 pages. I read the poem my friend Margie posted that I thieved and I read excerpts about anger and rape and recovering. And I went through about 20 kleenexs. And I breathed. A lot.
And I’m healing. Trying to get to the core of the onion where there are no more waves of pain, shame, anger, regret or guilt. I’m told that day will come and I’ll know when I’m there. I’m also told I’m closer than I think. I feel like a little kid wanting to move on with my life now, now, now!
And yesterday my left hand ring finger was itching…first time ever that’s happened…I suspect I’m closer to “now, now, now” than I think!
Homework for this week: keep reading (I am!), share if you feel you can (Done!), work on the IVZ workbook…you’re on the absolute right track! Yay, me!