As you know, if you’re following my blog, I’ve been working hard to heal my rape and my life so I can move on to the life I deserve.

I’ve been making pretty rapid progress but it’s akin to a damn bursting. Once it bursts, there’s no holding it back. Emotionally, if you’re willing and your mind/body/soul know it, it becomes a little like the Price is Right…that whole “{Your name here}, come on down…” The universe knows you’re willing and that’s the match…let’s GO!

So I’ve been writing, writing, reflecting, reading, writing, crying and so on for the last 3 weeks. Holy wow…I just realized its been 3 weeks. I’m going to take a moment to say to Self, “I’m really proud of you! You’ve made real progress, let go of a lot and healed a lot in a very, very small period of time and I’m proud of you. You should be, too!”

OK, back on track. So, as I was talking to my Case Manager, I asked her how I would know the new me as I’ve only ever known “this self”. She said, “you’ll know”.

I met “new me” Thursday. There’s been a little bit of her every day. It’s hard to explain but let’s say I’m getting there. I will share soon enough.

Anyway, today I’m trying to catch up on my DVR’d shows as it’s August and I’d really like to watch the SP’s of my shows this fall. But I gotta watch the older stuff 1st.

An episode of Long Island Medium

triggered something so I sat down and started to journal. Long story short, old me is dying. She has to in order for new me to emerge. I started sobbing, stopped writing, started writing again. “Can’t stay in the dug out and be in the batter’s box at the same time.” “Can’t keep a foot on 1st base and run to 2nd.” I’m a huge baseball fan so the metaphors make sense…

But it kind of flipped me out a little bit…as I was watching LIM, it dawned on me that old me knows this has been coming and it’s sad but it’s super happy at the same time…so that whole “funeral” thing…maybe that’s the dissolving paper thing.

The strangest things can trigger healing.


About spawtyspice

I was once a victim of a horrible act. Now, I'm a thriver, and sharing my experiences with Spartan Racing, training, spiritual awakening, food, yoga, being a fur mom, intuitive and whatever else strikes my fancy! Faith, family, fun! Blessed beyond compare! Won't you join me?
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