I had my usual Wednesday meeting with Marlo and toward the end of it, we figured out that something happened, above and beyond my rape, involving Mark. But what? I couldn’t bring anything up…Wednesday night, something hits me, has me in tears. Thursday, my mind is in “There’s not enough water in Transylvania County!” mode. FYI, Transylvania County is the waterfall capital of the world, with more than 250 of them…yes, in just one county.
So, yesterday it hits me again, twice. And I was in tears 3 times over this revelation. Apparently when Mark raped me, I was pregnant and miscarried. I never had a clue. How do I know? Emotion.
I am heartbroken, trying to flesh it out, figure my way through it, feel, deal and heal so I can move on. It’s the last thing I expected but it brought up something else, financial struggle I didn’t even realize was going on, so I’ll be dealing with that, too.
I’ll be OK; not sure what OK looks like but I’ll get there. Because I’m stronger than all of this!