Today is week 4 of the 8 weeks of group. It was also story day. We all have one. My heart was broken. Again.
I realize my rape was no my fault. Nobody’s rape is their fault. Every story is different. Some people, like me, were in relationships with their rapists; others were not. More stuff came up.
I know for sure that I am meant to coach other rape and sexual assault survivors…and I know that I need to be stronger than I am now. I have to be able to hear it, feel for them, suggest a path and let it go.
I realized listening to the stories the other brave, beautiful women shared that there’s a lot of sadness, anger, shame, grief and general negativity. I am here to heal that.
I was thinking about everything the other day and I thought, “Oh my God! This is a HUGE job and seriously, you’re going to be booked…it’s going to be insane…” I was overwhelmed and then I had a moment where I heard me say, “so let’s not do it…that way nobody gets hurt or disappointed.”
Needless to say, I didn’t even give that a second thought. I am needed. My healing journey and my helping hand and my story are so needed it’s kind of sad. But the more I think about helping and serving and moving people to a place of healing and that being the wellspring of my philanthropic dreams, the more excited I get.
Rape and sexual assault are here. They happen to men, women and children daily throughout this country and this world. If I can help others heal, it’s worth it.
Story Time was a big lesson in “you’re close, but you’re not done yet!” It was a blessing and a lesson in humility. And a heartbreaking lesson at that.