Letting Go…Starting Over

So, it’s 2014! So far, it’s been a great year. Last week, I had my first meeting with Marlo in the new year. I re-read the letter to my rapist, the 2nd letter, and we talked about the break point. I hadn’t read the letter in about 3 weeks and the last time I read it, I was OVER it! I finished reading it but was done with it…or so I thought!

So imagine my surprise when I read it again last Tuesday night and was again in tears. The breaking point seemed to be me NOT believing I am strong. So, I re-read it in my session. Marlo suggested I didn’t need the letter or the notebook. That it was my shield. She challenged me to let go of the letter, to get rid of it. So I did.

I came home, went through the notebook and tore out every page that had writing on it. Anything not affirmative was torn in 4 for recycling. This was my letter to Mark.

IMG_20140109_180538_338 I shredded it into tiny little pieces.

Then I burned it on Thursday. Letter after There is no more letter.
I wrote my TEDx talk about rape and having the courage to heal and nominated myself for not one, but TWO, TEDx forums and I finished my article on rape in the military.

My mind doesn’t quite believe that I’ve let go of it so it’s a daily thing, still, the letting go of it. But I’m ready to surrender it, let go, and start over.

FINALLY.

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About spawtyspice

I was once a victim of a horrible act. Now, I'm a thriver, and sharing my experiences with Spartan Racing, training, spiritual awakening, food, yoga, being a fur mom, intuitive and whatever else strikes my fancy! Faith, family, fun! Blessed beyond compare! Won't you join me?
This entry was posted in change, inner work, personal growth, rape, rape survivor, spiritual growth, therapy and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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