I’ve taken lots of leaps in the last few years. Telling people I like them, letting people go because seriously, I just can’t heal me and deal with their stuff at the same time, trusting myself and those around me with various things, admitting secrets and letting STUFF go.
Today, I had lunch with a dear friend, someone I value and respect probably more than they even realize. At lunch I shared something with them that I don’t usually share. In essence, I chose to be vulnerable. Nothing super earth-shattering mind you but just enough that I felt wondered Oh my gosh, what’s she going to think of me once she knows what I think?
You see, I shared lists with her. Lists? Really? Lists??
I was challenged, as part of a class that I’m taking, to write out 108 things I like about myself. Did you know most people can’t even find 5, never mind 10 or 50 or….108? I’ve done enough work and cleared enough stuff and learned to love and care for myself so that my list is at about 115 things. On my first attempt, I found 8 things and I had to s-t-r-e-t-c-h like a very big rubber band to grab that many.
So, I’ve challenged a few of my closer friends verbally and had one or 2 actually try to come up with a list. Most people stress about 5 things, never mind 10 or more. But the point isn’t really the number, it’s the idea that we aren’t raised to brag on ourselves and we blush or get nervous when others brag on us. So I started making lists of things I like about my various friends. It seems less creepy once I explain the back story.
And let’s be clear: if I don’t like you, the chances are there is no list. I might hang around you during baseball season, or some such activity, but it doesn’t mean I like you or consider us friends.
So I shared lists with my dear friend today. I chose vulnerability. Because lately, that’s what I do. I ask myself What would be the scariest thing you could do in this situation/relationship?
And I do that.
Do you choose vulnerability? Can you come up with 108 things you like about you? How about 50? 10? Start with 5. I’d love to hear your thoughts.