Who Are You Living YOUR Life For?

Do you live your life for you or for other people? I asked that question of a client recently and it was met with stunned silence. I’m not casting shame or blame, I’ve been there myself.

As a recovering people pleaser, I know the extent some people will go to please other people, sacrificing their own wants, wishes, desires, needs and dreams because “what would so-and-so think if I told them ‘no’? If I changed my mind?” Like I said, I’ve been there myself!

I’ve also told people that if what they’re planning to do no longer works for them, it’s OK to change your mind. That, too, gets met with panic and abject horror. Wait, you’re saying I can change my mind after I’ve made a decision, told someone I care about that I would do something and (gulp!) declared that I would on Facebook?!

Short answer? Yes. Unless you’re flight is in the air or your ship has literally sailed, you can change your mind. If there’s a lease or a contract involved, you might lose your earnest money but if your gut is saying “no”, follow it. People often have life affirming realizations in a split second that cause them to change their minds. Many times, they feel like they’ve gone to far to turn back (e.g. not cancelling the wedding or the move because “everything is planned and ‘people’ would be disappointed or it would look bad). But what about you? Isn’t it YOUR life?

The world will not stop if you change your mind.

I can hear your argument from here. But I’ll hurt someone I care about, someone will be disappointed, and how do I tell them I changed my mind? I actually had a close friend share plans with me and I told them what I was getting. That was the first question they asked was how do I tell {   } that I’m not moving? {     } Is going to be upset. I countered with “How do you tell yourself you’re not doing what your soul needs to do?” They’re moving shortly. I can’t make you listen to your soul. Only you can do that.

Is your life a mess and you can’t figure out why? Sometimes stuff happens even to the best people. But a lot of times, we’re not doing what we are meant to be doing. We aren’t listening to our gut. Life is a mess because God/the Universe/your gut is trying to get your attention. It’s a hail Mary, if you will.

We’re trying so hard to please everybody, else answer demands made of us, keep up with Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the myriad of other social media outlets that we forget to do two things: breathe and listen to that tiny voice in our heart that if we got quiet would tell us what we need to know.

Life transitions need not be easy but doable with ease. In other words, if you’re procrastinating getting things lined up for a move or if you’re perpetually late to work, you might want to check in with yourself.

Are you at a turning point? Are you living your life for you? For someone else? I’d love to hear from you!


About spawtyspice

I was once a victim of a horrible act. Now, I'm a thriver, and sharing my experiences with Spartan Racing, training, spiritual awakening, food, yoga, being a fur mom, intuitive and whatever else strikes my fancy! Faith, family, fun! Blessed beyond compare! Won't you join me?
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