When most people hear the word “change”, they cringe. Most people don’t like change. Whether we admit it or not, most of us like stability, we like calm, we like the known, even when the ‘known’ sucks!
Wait, what?! Yes, I said it! Most of us prefer the known, even when the known is a crappy relationship, a job that’s going nowhere, living paycheck-to-paycheck, choosing mediocrity or being 20 pounds overweight. It’s comfortable. It’s what we know. No shame, it just is what it is.
But change, personal transformation, is tough stuff. It’s hard work. In my case, I’m going to share a secret with you: I’ve been working for nearly 3 years to transform my life from the inside out.
So, what’s that look like?
Nearly 3 years ago, a trifecta of events imploded my life. I let it. I was so angry, so fed up, so sad that it drove me to my therapist. On my first visit I said, “I don’t care what I have to do or give up, or who I have to give up, or what I have to own or say, I’m done being miserable!” I’ve worked through a lot and am in a much different, better place than I was then. I’m not done but it’s much better than it was!
A year ago, I wasn’t running or working out as often as I could have been. Now, I run nearly every day. This past Sunday, 2/16, was the 1st day since 12/24, that I chose to do nothing. No run, no burpees, not stretching, no ab WOD, my usual routine. I’m down to a size 6, from a size 10, and I think I look and feel better than I have in years. I ran 5 5K’s last year with more to come this year. Choosing to get and stay healthy and train is a choice.
7 Months ago, I walked into a rape crisis center and told someone my ‘secret’. That I’d been date raped 11 years ago. I’ve worked hard, cried hard and mostly healed it. I am hoping to help others heal their traumas as well. Whether I’ll be doing that as a career or in a voluntary capacity remains to be seen.
4 Months ago, I invested in a program focused on inner work, on dredging up all the negative in order to clean it up, feel it, deal with it and heal it, so I can move on, happier and healthier. And I’m not done. It’s been painful, scary at times, draining but worth it.
I’ve done a lot and there’s still a to do. I’m not gonna lie. It’s had some incredibly painful moments. But it’s also had some incredibly joy-filled moments and I definitely know who my friends are now.
If you’d have told me 3 years ago that I’d be here now, I’d have told you you were crazy. Not in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d be where I am. I can’t wait to see what the future holds!
So, is there a change you’d like to tackle? Have you changed something in your life and, if so, are you where you thought you’d be? I’d love to hear your thoughts!